And then one day you find ten years have got behind you.
No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun.
– ‘Time’ by Pink Floyd
Have you ever dismissed trying something new because you thought you were too old? Too set in your ways? Too worried that you would look like an asshat doing said new thing?
I have used that excuse more times than I’d care to admit.
Start a new career? Too old.
Learn a new skill or pick up a new hobby? Too old!
Rock some skinny jeans? Way too old!!
Okay, that last age-based decision did save me a lot of embarrassment. And chafing.
While running all your decisions through the filter of age can protect you from pain and discomfort, it can also rob you of joy and achievement. The hard truth is that a dismissive default position that starts with ‘I’m too old’ often ends with a very underwhelming existence.
Isn’t “I’m too old” really just a rebrand of other excuses we’ve made in the past? It’s the same old shit with a new label. “I’m too old” is the elder statesman of “I’m too busy,” “It’s really not my thing,” and “I need to think about it some more.” Underneath all that, the core truth is usually the same:
‘I’m afraid.’
The reason this tired cliché is so top of mind for me is that I am actively trying to break free of it myself. At a time when many of my contemporaries are looking to downsize their lives, both physically and philosophically, I am doing the opposite. I have decided to put myself out there in a much more visible way than ever before.
Creating an online presence to help other men thrive in their later years is both daunting and exhilarating. The younger version of me would never have dreamed of starting my own coaching business, newsletter, or podcast.
But, honestly, how can I coach others to start playing for much bigger stakes if I’m not willing to do the same? After all, they don’t call me the Sy Sperling of life coaching for nothing!
Actually, nobody calls me that.
I wish I could say that I successfully silenced that old trope, but I haven’t. Just when I think that I have short-circuited the wiring, that inner voice that sounds a lot like Eddie Murphy as a Jewish man hanging out at the barbershop, comes over my brain’s loudspeaker: ‘What are you thinking, you old bastard? Didn’t you babysit Joe Louis!’
But while that limiting thought continues to lurk in the shadows, I have discovered a few ways to avoid its grasp.
Step into action: Action is the ultimate silencer to the critic in your head. As soon as that voice starts questioning if it’s too late to do something, take a step in the vicinity of that thing.
When it questions whether you are too past your prime to get in great shape, go out for a walk or do some pushups. If it tells you only young people can learn an instrument, find an instructor online and book an introductory lesson.
Train yourself to treat that voice like it’s the starting gun of a race.Rewrite the script: I’m not one for affirmations but I do appreciate a good reframing. Words are very powerful, so you want to be very careful with the ones you choose to describe yourself. Our subconscious is like a gullible third-grader. It will believe whatever you tell it. Frame your language in positive, growth-minded terms.
I like to combat ‘I’m too old’ with ‘I will never be as young as I am today.’ Or ‘five years from now, I’ll wish I was as young as I am right now.’Get present: Do you feel old at this very moment? Are you ‘feeling’ your age? Chances are that you aren’t. We only feel old when we fall out of the current moment. Our age only registers on our radar when we are time-traveling to past and future destinations.
The actual living of life only happens in the present. Stay present and time stops.Fast forward: Yes, I know I just told you to stay present. Pick a fucking lane, McGlone, right?
When you meet resistance when trying something new, use this brief thought exercise to help you push through: Think of the current version of you five years from now. You have made no changes or taken any risks in your life. Other than five years older, you are exactly who you are today.
Is he happy? Is he proud of himself?Now, imagine the version of you who took a few swings for the fences. Maybe you started that side project or committed to that workout routine or played drums at the fucking Catalina Wine Mixer.
What does that dude look like five years from now? Is he happy? Proud?
How much meaning are you robbing from your future self by not starting something new today?
Our lives grow a little smaller with each invitation we refuse. It continues to shrink until we are so entombed in inaction that we barely register a pulse.
On the flip side, the more we are willing to put ourselves out there and risk looking foolish or feel the slightest bit untethered, the more our world expands. Opportunities, adventure, luck and deep human connection have more surface area to attach themselves to.
At the end of the day, you are the one who decides whether to heed adventure’s call.
Not some fucking number.
Remember, this life passes by in an instant, especially when we let it. Act accordingly.
CAMP CHALLENGE: This week, try something new that feels a little outside your comfort zone. It can be anything. From eating sushi for the first time to wearing an ascot to paragliding (ascot optional), be all about taking it out and chopping it up!
If so inclined, drop me a note and regale me with your adventures.